Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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