I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
