come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My bed smells like the plague
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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