1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize