U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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