I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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