she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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