we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
