This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
