i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
