sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
