Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
