Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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