I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
