You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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