These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
