8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
