I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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