This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
