He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
