if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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