i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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