Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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