her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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