why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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