U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
