So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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