Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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