Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
