Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
