After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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