we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize