So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
