Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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