Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
