I need help removing her.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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