i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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