You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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