coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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