I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
