The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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