i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
