Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
