im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
