Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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