i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
