I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I want is dick and wine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
