Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
