So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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