He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
