At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
