therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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