Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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