But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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