You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
