I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize