I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
