i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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