it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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