PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
