If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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