i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
