he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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