I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
