Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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