This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
