Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
